Devastation and Reform
by Caitlynnn
Summary: He wasn't supposed to fall in love with her, for he lost the ability to love after she died. And she held everything in, keeping everyone at a comfortable distance. They weren't supposed to fall in love. It was never meant to be this way. Eclare.


**Okay, new story. I'm sorry if this sucks. But I thought about this during class and I wrote it down. **

**I do not own Degrassi. **

**Reviews are cool. **

**Summary:**

**He wasn't in love with her, for he lost that ability to love after she died. And she held everything in, keeping everyone at a comfortable distance. They weren't supposed to fall in love. It was never meant to be this way.**

This wasn't love. There was no love in this relationship. Just tinted lies, and halfass wanted kisses. With fake hugs, and false smiles. No one is ever happy. No one feels anything anymore.

When she detangles herself from me, and heads to the bathroom I question her hospitality. All she does is smile at me; she smiles like she cares. But we all know she doesn't. She builds walls of lies because she's scared. I act like I'm listening because I car. Everyone says we're good for each other, but they don't even know the half of it.

I go to the bathroom and throw the condom in there. It's not something worth saving. Because this isn't beautiful, nothing is beautiful.

I slowly walk out and put my clothes back on, and leaving the door wide open for her to leave. She smiles as she walks out. And I start to think that false smile is going to stay there forever.

"Call me tonight?" She asks. I shrug. "Maybe," No definite answer. "I love you," She says, and kisses the side of my mouth. I don't love anybody. "At least lie to me," She looks down like she's heartbroken, or has feelings. "I fucking love you, Imogen." I tell her as I slam the door in her face.

I sigh as I clean up the mess, grabbing all the sheets and putting them in the washer. I really don't want my mom having to clean this up for me. It's not very cool.

"Eli," I hear the door slam. I know it's my mom. "In my bedroom," I call. She comes to my bedroom, knocks lightly and enters in. "Imogen just left huh," She examines the sheets.

"Uh, no." I lie. She rolls her eyes as she picks underwear from off the ground. "I don't remember buying you a thong," She tells me. I try to hide my blush, but instead I just shrug. "I don't know what's with you lately," CeCe tells me as she exits the room.

Join the club, no one does.

**Later**

"So, are you picking me up in the morning?" I sigh as I nod to myself. I know she can't see it. "Yes," I say with a bit of menace in my voice. "What got up your ass?" She snaps.

"You did," I laugh, and surprisingly, she laughs too. "Ohh, well," She says flirtatiously. I smile a little, but then it turns into a frown. What am I doing? I'm giving her hope that I'll stay. When everyone knows I won't stay. I never do.

"I have to go," She says, moaning. I hear a dog barking in the background, and a baby screaming. "Okay, bye." I hang up quickly. I don't want another incident like the one this morning.

I get up from my bed, and I walk towards my window, opening it up. I say my respects to summer since it is ending officially tomorrow. It's not like I did anything productive over the summer break anyways. I didn't do any of the projects either. No stupidass essay. I'll probably fail.

I hear the door knock from downstairs and I look to see who it is. I smile immediately. I notice the car. I run down the stairs and open the door. "Torres," I say, letting Adam in. "Goldsworthy," He says.

I move out of the way for him to come in. "How was your summer?" He asks me, looking at me more serious. "Better," I nod, looking down. "Yours?" I ask, my voice shaking. "Same," He mutters. Things turned awkward within seconds.

"Do you want to chill in my room?" I ask him raising an eyebrow. An automatic, genuine smile to his face. "You're ready to get your ass kicked?"

I freeze, my hand on my heart. "I'm hurt." I shake my head as I smack his arm. We head upstairs, and I open my door to let him in.

He sits on my bed, bouncing a little. "Nice undies. Whose are they?" He says, his voice wavering a bit. "Uh, a girl I met." I try to shake it off. "What's her name?" His voice shakes a little. "Imogen Moreno." I tell him as I turn on the TV. I throw him the remote, but it smacks him in the face.

"Wait is she your girlfriend?" He asks me. I wish he would stop asking me questions I don't want to answer. Damnit. "No, its nothing serious." Or anything at all.

"But you have feelings for her?" He asks. I shrug. "Not really," I sigh. "But you're obviously having sex with her…" I sense disappointment in his voice. Within five minutes of him being here, I already somehow messed things up.

"It's hard to understand," Is all I say as I turn on the game.

Hours later, he does end up beating me. I throw the game consul on the ground. "Goddamnit!" I yell. He stands up and pats me on the back as he laughs. "Told you," He shrugs. But I smile at him. "Well played," I say.

"I guess it's late. I have to go now. "But I'll see you tomorrow?" He asks me. I nod. "Do you think you can give me a ride?" He asks again. I am about to say yes, but I remember Imogen. "Uh, no. I'm um. Busy in the morning." I tell him. He looks at me for a second, and then rolls his eyes.

"Forget I asked Eli," He heads out the door. Noted, I say mentally. If I said that out loud I knew I would be asking for a fight. When Adam is pissed he could hurt me. I've seen it before…

"That was really nice of him being here," CeCe says, coming up from behind me. "Yeah," I agree with a bit of sarcasm. "Real nice."

I get ready for bed so I can get this day done and over with.

"_No one loved you more than I did," _

As I lay down in bed, my thoughts think about this summer, and how I've changed. How everything changed.

"_I can't look myself in the mirror anymore."_

I can't either. But then again, that's normal for me.

Everything is normal.

**I don't know if I should continue this? **

**Review if I should or not. Or this story is going into the garbage. Ha. (By the way, this is an eclare story. It's just going to be developed.)**


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